Re: [CH] (Fwd) Money from ATT:joke

Nels Peterson (npkp4jp@polarcomm.com)
Mon, 14 Dec 1998 18:28:53 -0600 

Hey friends and neighbors - my sons ask the caller for dates - 30 second
phone call, max!

At 11:30 AM 12/14/98 +0000, you wrote:
>Dear Chile-heads,
>
>This has nothing to do with chiles, but I couldn't resist forwarding 
>it:-)
>
>One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you,
>is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call
>from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as
>irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something
>like this:
>
> Me: Hello
> AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
> Me: Is this AT&T?
> AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
> Me: This is AT&T?
> AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
> Me: Is this AT&T?
> AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Robinson please?
> Me: May I ask who is calling?
> AT&T: This is AT&T.
> Me: OK, hold on.
> At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that,
> surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad.  Much
> to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
>  Me: Hello?
> AT&T: Is this Mr. Robinson?
> Me: May I ask who is calling please?
> AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
> Me: Is this AT&T?
> AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
> Me: This is AT&T?
> AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Robinson?
> Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
> AT&T: Yes sir.
> Me: The phone company?
> AT&T: Yes sir.
> Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
> AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
> Me: I already have a phone.
> AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Robinson.
> Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for
>      calling.
> When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express
> yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested," but
> this lady was persistent.
> AT&T: Mr. Robinson we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24
> hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
> Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute
> but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was
> time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.
> Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
> AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir that's
>right!
> 24 hours a day!
> Me: 7 days a week?
> AT&T: That's right.
> Me: 365 days a year?
> AT&T: Yes sir.
> Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
> AT&T: We think so!
> Me: That's quite a sum of money!
> AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
> Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one
> at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual
> check, can I get a cash advance?
> AT&T: Excuse me?
> Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
> AT&T: What are you talking about?
> Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a
> week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week
> and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be
> making payment.
> AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a
>      minute.
> Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a
> minute.  Are you sure this is AT&T?
> AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......
> Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10
> cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute?  Is this some kind of
>subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the
>Inquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me.
> AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....
> Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
> AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.
> Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
> AT&T: What?
> Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
> AT&T: Yes Mr. Robinson. Please hold.
> So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat
>while I'm waiting for a supervisor.  After a wait of a few minutes and while I
>have a mouth full of food:
> Supervisor: Mr. Robinson?
> Me: Yeth?
>Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute
>program.
> Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?
> Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.
> I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to
> suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.
> Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so
> that could sign up for the plan.
> Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was
>helping you.
> Me: Thank you.
> I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls.  I needed to
> end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at
>the other end of the phone.
> AT&T: Hello Mr. Robinson, I understand that you are interested in
>      signing up for our plan?
> Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have
>enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little
>brother...
> AT&T: (click)
>
>Dave Anderson
>Tough Love Chile Co.
>http://www.tough-love.com
>
>