Re: [CH] CHs Must Read!!! Shocking New Study Shows True Cause of Mental
Calvin Donaghey (gdonaghey@bitstreet.com)
Sun, 09 Apr 2000 17:58:31 -0500
RR, et al
This truly is shocking news! Coincidentally, the Abilene, Texas Society
for Independent Meaningless Studies (ATSIMS) has concluded that human
saliva (YES, HUMAN SALIVA) has been shown to cause cancer of many
types. Luckily, the studies have shown that these carcinogenic
properties are only manifest in excess of the public norms when the
saliva is ingested orally in small amounts over long periods of time.
The only known antidote is the consumption of certain varieties of
fruit of edible Capsicum species, plants native to Central and South
American jungles and gardens. The Federal Government has released a
statement urging citizens to refrain from hoarding these plants, a
scenario which could generate panic of epidemic proportions. Vice
President Al Gore has stated in a recent interview that his pioneering
work in rainforest preservation was critical to the discovery of the
useful qualities in the plant, an important addition to his invention of
the internet.
Do we live in a great age, or what?
Calvin
Rockin' Randy wrote:
> Epidemiologist and independent researcher, Rando Ransom from
> Tucker, Georgia has announced the shocking results of his latest
> study to Yucky Stuff, International.
>
>
> On a similar note, after two straight days of eating hot foods
> and drinking wine at the Thomas Family Winery, Ransom himself
> is showing signs of mental decline. "I'm not sure if it is a
> state temporarily induced by the peppers and sampling every
> bottle in the house, or if it is due to too much breathing, or
> the childhood eating of scrambled eggs".
>
> Another study could be in order.
>
> Rockin' "still near Madison" Ransom
>
> =====