[CH] Quetzlzacatenango Chile

Luke Van Santen (Luke.VanSanten@dot.state.mn.us)
Tue, 25 Apr 2000 08:54:22 -0500 

Someone asked where to get the above referenced chile. 


"El Viaje de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)" 
3F24 Original Airdate: 1/5/97 

At the annual Springfield Chili Cook-Off, Homer eats super-spicy                       chili (made by Police Chief Wiggum) made with a dangerous Guatemalan pepper (Guatemalan insanity peppers) grown by mental patients ("grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum."). The pepper has a powerful hallucinogenic effect and Homer wanders off into the darkest, strangest regions of his mind. Guided by a talking coyote, he goes on a voyage of self-discovery. It goes something lie this - 

Homer hyperventilates as his skin flows like some kind of liquid as he stands in front of a psychedelic cloudscape. The rapidly morphing landscape plays hell with Homer's perspective. Thinking that he's in Shelbyville, he is dive-bombed by a giant, garishly colored butterfly. Homer's facial features sink into his head and pop out the other side. He decides to check his pupils in a nearby stream.  His pupils are doing downright odd things.  Suddenly, the stream turns into a giant snake which coils around Homer and hisses at him.  He decides that he's going to be leaving.  As he walks towards the horizon, the sun moves up.  As he steps back, the sun goes down.  He likes this, and does it several times in a row until the sun hits the ground and shatters.  Homer screams. Homer tries spelling out "HELP" with rocks.  One of the rocks crawls away, however. Homer is surprised to see that it is a (non-kinky) tortoise.  As the tortoise crawls, he leaves a message in the dirt. Homer frantically follows the tortoise, which is moving far too slow to suit him.  "When I'm kicking you, that means hurry up!"  He then punts the reptile an incredible distance.  Homer follows it, taking increasingly greater strides, finally coming to a tiny Aztec-style pyramid.  The tortoise points to it. The pyramid grows to immense size. Homer, gasping, finishes climbing the pyramid. On top, he sees Marge with her back to him.  He tries to get her to look at him, running circles around her at one point, but he never sees her face.  "Fight fair, I never do this to you" he argues. Suddenly, a strong wind blows her away as she turns into a fine powder.

Homer cannot stand this place anymore, wondering what he's doing there
anyway.  "You are on a quest for knowledge" replies a disembodied voice.
Homer looks up in the sky, where the moon turns into a giant eye.  A Saturn-like planet floats down next to the eye and turns into another eye.  Then, the rest of a smiling canine face appears in the sky.  The face liquefied and then materializes as an entire coyote on the pyramid next to Homer. The coyote instructs Homer to find his soulmate: the one with whom he shares a profound mystical understanding.  Homer thinks it is Marge, but the coyote, running off, makes him doubt himself.  Homer then sees a ghost train which runs over him...

...returning us to the real world.

Or you can just go to http://snpp.com/episodes/3F24.html and read it for yourself.

So, I guess we should look in Guatemala. Or maybe we could contact Chief Wiggum. 

This episode does bring up some interesting questions. For instance, is Marge a nubile chile maiden? Does Homer's wax tongue coating disqualify him from consideration for being a Chile Head? Is Wiggum an acolyte of El Grande? Is Johnny Cash (the coyote) really El Grande? And what's up with the non-kinky tortoise?

        
Luke Van Santen, CH #2108
St. Louis Park, MN