COLUMBUS, OHIO (Bogus News Services) - The serene calm of breakfast was shattered today when a terrorist weapon was discovered on the breakfast table. Authorities were alerted to the presence of a suspicious package left next to a plate of sausage, gravy and biscuits. The package, a small blue glass bottle, was marked DA' BOMB Ground Zero. Alert experts cleared the area and carefully opened the container for a sample of the contents. They combined a small amount of the contents with some gravy, creating a mix which visually resembled thousand-island salad dressing. After testing, the experts were speechless for approximately ten minutes. Later they were quoted as saying "At least it tastes better than Endorphin Rush." Authorities anticipate considerable difficulties in disposal of the weapon. Speaking off-record, one said "This summer is going to be a personal Chernobyl ... we anticipate more than a few burnt-cat-and-beans lunches." Some analysts believe this kind of threat is increasing in complexity as rogue sauce makers launch new weapons. Gone are the days when a "red threat" from one or two sources was our only concern. Today's population is increasingly under threat from a widening array of sources, some of them even from within our own borders. ________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com