[CH] Domestic terrorism incident
Alex Silbajoris (asilbajo@hotmail.com)
Thu, 15 Jun 2000 11:07:37 PDT
COLUMBUS, OHIO (Bogus News Services) - The serene calm of breakfast was
shattered today when a terrorist weapon was discovered on the breakfast
table.
Authorities were alerted to the presence of a suspicious package left next
to a plate of sausage, gravy and biscuits. The package, a small blue glass
bottle, was marked DA' BOMB Ground Zero.
Alert experts cleared the area and carefully opened the container for a
sample of the contents. They combined a small amount of the contents with
some gravy, creating a mix which visually resembled thousand-island salad
dressing.
After testing, the experts were speechless for approximately ten minutes.
Later they were quoted as saying "At least it tastes better than Endorphin
Rush."
Authorities anticipate considerable difficulties in disposal of the weapon.
Speaking off-record, one said "This summer is going to be a personal
Chernobyl ... we anticipate more than a few burnt-cat-and-beans lunches."
Some analysts believe this kind of threat is increasing in complexity as
rogue sauce makers launch new weapons. Gone are the days when a "red
threat" from one or two sources was our only concern. Today's population is
increasingly under threat from a widening array of sources, some of them
even from within our own borders.
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