Re: [CH] Snuffin' the flames

Mark McHugh (mchugh@internet-stat.net)
Wed, 11 Oct 2000 19:40:57 -0500 

Scott Thurston wrote:
> 
> Ah, not so fast, my good namesake.
> 
> A person could conceivably get into a boatload of trouble, if it could be
> shown that the "thief" suffered and the "baiter" had good reason to suspect
> the thief would take the bait.
> 
> One of my former Air Force compatriots related a similar tale.  In one unit
> where he was stationed, there was a junior Airman who would abscond with
> others' snack food and consume it.  My compadre got tired of buying snacks
> and sodas, only to set them down and have them disappear.
> 
> One day, he purchased a bag of chocolate chip cookies, emptied it, and
> re-filled it with some home-baked cookies made with chocolate Ex-Lax instead
> of the usual Nestle product.  He took it into work, and set it down on his
> desk while munching one of the real cookies.  He got up to get coffee, and
> when he returned the bag was gone.
> 
> A bit later, the poor junior enlisted guy left work with a very pained
> expression.  Later that afternoon, my cohort's commander called him into the
> office, and told him the airman was in the hospital in very dire straits.
> As my friend related it, the commander said (pardon the language) "Every
> time he blinks he shits."
> 
> Although my friend's commander could see the poetic justice in the act, he
> still had to deliver administrative non-judicial punishment.
> 
> (I *do* love telling this story, though =8^)
> Scott "not KCK" Thurston
> 

This sounds like the adventure we with a snack thief in the Army
barracks at Lackland AFB back in the early 80s.

Said thief was a most obnoxious putz who tainted my feelings for Lon
Gilanders in general and Massapequa in particular for years to come. 
He used to klomp down the wood-floor halls in cowboy boots, bang his
lacrosse balls off the walls (until we clipped the net in his stick),
holler drunken Stray Cats songs and steal food out of our fridges.  We
baked some "special" brownies at an off-base friend's house and baited
the trap.  The yahoo stole a few and turned into the Human Root Beer
Dispenser.  Quite unfortunately for him, it was the day he was to
graduate from the language school.  He didn't enjoy the after-ceremony
festivities too much.  I don't believe he ever connected his theft
with his shits, so we escaped Article 15's.  Karma in action.

-- 
´´
Mark McHugh

If you don't like the effect,
don't produce the cause.
              -George Clinton