Mature Audiences Only: WUZ: Re: [CH] Chile vernacular

VoodooChile (rael64@qwest.net)
Mon, 11 Mar 2002 18:41:08 -0700 

>Gary Bellinger wrote:
>
>>  Knuckle dragglesome! Ah yes, another word to add to my chile vernacular. I
>>  wonder? Are there any other unique word in the Chile Pepper & Knuckle
>>  dragger dictionary?
>
>
>I believe yer looking for Br'er Rael's coinage:  "Chilerotica"  It
>involves a Twister(TM) mat, various lubricants, assorted vegetables &
>fruits and a Chile for every orifice.
>
>Not to be forgetting "Chile Willie" the male symptom of "I didn't wash
>up enuf after chopping those habs". There are also terms for the distaff
>version but the terminology is so graphically profound that decorum
>prevents listing them here.

Chilerotica?

Hmm...an excerpt of a tale not yet written (read: just came to 
me...quite piggish...please flame me off list)

<ahem>

Whilst barefooting through my neighbors grassy area one morn, mint 
tea in hand, I came upon the gal on her knees, tending to some 
foliage.  A delicious young girl, indeed, possessing what some call 
classic features.  I call it flesh, not just skin and bone; alas, the 
infelicitous definition of Beauty these days.  I stood where I had 
stopped and took in the vista for a bit, sipping my tea, wishing that 
I was in the 19 or 20 year old range as I judged her to be.   I then 
found myself wishing I still smoked cigarettes.  How odd, I thought. 
I sighed inwardly and spoke.

"You know, my youthful neighbor, the fruits of your loins are quite a 
joy to behold," I said.

Her head came up quickly, but recognizing my voice she turned towards 
me rather slowly, knowingly.  We were little more than acquaintances, 
but I wear my thoughts on my sleeves and know little shame.  An open 
dirty book, one might say.

"You mean 'the fruits of my labor'," she said, raising the brow of 
the eye I could see, that peered at me.

"No," I said, "I mean fruits of your loins."  I walked over to her 
side, dug my toes into the cool grass, and then crouched down beside 
her.  It was a fortunate day indeed as she wore a loose fitting 
cotton shirt, which allowed me a wonderful view of her breasts. 
Truly a classic form.  I am a rich man today, I thought.

"You see, your delightful ass and cunny are more or less hanging out 
of the flimsy piece of fabric I would assume you think of as shorts. 
It's quite comfortable garb, I am sure, but you should be alert for 
large dogs roaming about the neighborhood...or men with less 
restraint than I."

  I couldn't quite read her thoughts through her blue-green eyes, but 
she said nothing.  Intrigued as I was, always, the seconds grew long 
and I had to tend to my own little patch of earthly delights - chiles 
and tomatillos - in the back of my apartment building, so I stood and 
turned to walk off.

"Restraint is not always a virtue," said she to my back.  I didn't 
stop, no, but I will admit to hesitation.  I nevertheless continued 
towards my apartment, then stopped unable to repress myself any 
longer.  I turned to face her.

"Do you like fresh salsa," I asked, "fresh mango salsa, to be more specific?"

"I've never had mango salsa before," she answered.

"Then you shall," I said.  "By the way, do you happen to play Twister?"

"Twister?" she asked.  "The old board game? Red and green dots?"

"And yellow and blue," I added.  "The same."

"I haven't played in years, but it was always fun."

Rich man.  Rich indeed.

-- 
Peace, Hendrix, and Chiles.......

Rael64
Monk of the TCS
Order of Enlightened Twister [TM!]