[gardeners] OT - humor

Margaret Lauterbach (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Thu, 09 Apr 1998 08:22:50 -0600 

>Subject:  Fw: well, if you don't succeed the first 12 times...
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>>   A lawyer married a woman who had been married 12
>>  times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at
>>  their hotel and the bride said to her new groom, "Please, promise to
>>  be gentle. I'm still a virgin."
>>  This puzzled the groom since, after 12 marriages, he thought that at
>>  least one of her husbands would have performed. He asked
>>  his new bride to explain.
>> She said, "My first husband was a Salesman who spent our entire
>> marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, 'It's gonna be great!'
>> My second husband was from Software Services; he was never quite
>> sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me
>> documentation.
>> My third husband was from Field Service and constantly said
>>  everything was diagnostically OK, but he just couldn't get the system
>up.
>> My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and he said, 'Those who
>can,
>> do; those who can't, teach.'
>> My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department and said that he
>had
>> the orders, but he wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to
>deliver.
>> My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic
>> process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new
>state-
>> of-the-art method.
>> My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. His comments
>>  were that he knew how, but he just wasn't sure it was his job.
>> My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations and told me
>> that he was up to the standards but that regulations said nothing
>> about how to do it.
>> My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. He said, 'I know I have the
>product.
>> I'm just not sure how to position it.'
>> My tenth husband was a psychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was
>talk
>> about it.
>> My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to do was
>look
>> at it.
>> My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do
>was --
>> oh God, I'll always miss him!
>> So I finally married a lawyer, that way I am sure I'll get screwed."
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