[gardeners] Home!

asidv@fbg.net (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Wed, 17 Jun 1998 10:40:31 +0000

To all who expressed sympathy and commiseration on the subject of 
squash, many thanks. So far, we are well. Safe? Well, you tell us.

Getting home from a nine day trip, I went out to inspect the various 
parts of the garden. There were a number of mysterious failures of 
plants that, hitherto, have prospered: winter savory, Obedient plant, 
papyrus, etc. It has been dry, I wasn't here to water, these things 
must be expected.

The six squash plants that were here before we left had become 
five (a rabbit, no doubt) but the five were only about six inches 
high with an eight inch spread. Ah Ha, I thought, the threatened 
stinging squash invasion was just a leg-pull, a joke, a fiction.

Digging up the winter savory to consign it to the compost, I saw some 
very strange roots . . . large, succulent, tenacious. Tracing them 
back to the point of origin, I came to the squash. Oh My! Hurriedly, 
I dug up the spot where the absent squash had been -- the same 
tenacle roots and they resist even my honed-to-a-fine-sharpness 
Dutch hoe.

Gardeners know that plant & root have roughly the same ratio as 
visible to invisible iceberg. My squash -- fighting the rocky soil 
have determined to use their roots to FIRST CONQUER THE ROCKS and 
then put on their top growth. But I can't pull up the roots and five 
remaining plants resist any effort to pull them up.

THIS is what I was doing when my NGP told Catharine not to call for a 
while. The situation had us both frightened! And, to add to our 
miseries, the local telephone company was working nearby to install a 
new pole for a new neighbor. Apparently they came upon some of the 
roots -- and running for their lives inadvertently put our phone on 
"unlisted" status. We are thankful to all the gardening gods that the 
modem is on a separate line since we now have no voice-phone to call 
for help. Please stand by; if things become desperate, you on the 
gardener's list are our only hope.

Will our troubles never end?  Is this how our civilization will fall? 

This morning I've put defoliant on the rest of the squash plants, but 
as I exited the fenced area (I AM a responsible neighbor! There are 
small children across the road, and I didn't want them to wander onto 
squash) I heard a low chuckle. There is no one on the place but me 
and the dog, and he looks troubled -- he wouldn't be chuckling. I 

Pat (aka Catharine's Ma) who sill send a coded message if we are in 
imminent danger: "SA,SA,Adieu", translated,  squash alert, squash 
attack, Goodbye!