[gardeners] OT - word meanings, humor

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>The Washington Post recently had a contest for readers in which
>they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.
>The following were some of the winning entries: 
>
>Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>
>
>Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy
>smog. 
>
>Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. 
>
>Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent 
>
>Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
>gained. 
>
>Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
>absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. 
>
>Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. 
>
>Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. 
>
>Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. 
>
>Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you
>are run over by a steamroller. 
>
>Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. 
>
>Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. 
>
>Semantics (n.), pranks conducted by young men studying for the
>priesthood,  including such things as gluing the pages of the
>priest's prayer book together just before vespers. 
>
>Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
>proctologist  immediately before he examines you. 
>
>Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
>expressions. 
>
>Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
>
>
>

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