Re: [gardeners] Rain, please go away . .

penny x stamm (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Sun, 16 Apr 2000 14:01:35 -0400 

George, I cannot, as you recommended, "get that man on at least
100mg of aspirin a day" because he is fiercely independent (as I
undoubtedly also am) and will allow no person on this earth to 
push him against his will.  Logic never enters into it. 

It is astonishing to watch Jim take an occasional aspirin -- let's say
once a year, when he has a ghastly cold. He chokes. If he were
willing, I could dissolve it in a custard cup of apple sauce the way 
we did with the kiddies, but he is not willing. So instead, he chokes,
and I mean all over the table!  He's a spoiled child, obviously. His 
answer to my insistance is that when I had my back surgery, he
thoroughly disapproved of the treatments (which I knew) but he
said then that it was my body, and up to me to decide what I wanted
done. Now he demands the same courtesy.

No matter how much I say that suicide is one thing, but stroke is
another, I get nowhere.  And my son-in-law said last night, "Dad,
you're a walking time bomb!"  But Jimmie seems to be playing 
Russian roulette, because he finally said that he is waiting for
a third vision-blackout, and then he will start taking the baby
aspirin. 

By the way, he cannot remember the 1st blackout at all. I
understand that this is part of the lack of blood supply syndrome.
  
I have resolved to change my life around to see if I can prevent
Jim's causing a 45-car fatal accident on the Jersey Turnpike --
he drives every single Tuesday  (for over 4 years now!) from 
our house 20 miles north of Manhattan, across the Hudson River, 
and out into middle New Jersey, to take his 89-y-o widowed
cousin out to dinner.  He arrives there at 3:30, fixes each of them 
two daiqueries, and spends the next 3 or more hours either
fixing her computer, or else just rehashing all their complaints
against humanity.  Then about 7:00, they decide where to go
for dinner ( there is NO good place), and away they go, often 
driving 45 minutes to the Chinese Buffet where he will have a
beer with dinner. Then back to cousin's, and he gets home about
11:00pm, totally wiped out. The additional problem exists that 
they are repairing both the George Washington bridge, and the 
Tappan Zee bridge, and at that hour, giant klieg lights get in the
eyes of the drivers . . . 

I did this with Jim for the first 18 months, and despised every
minute of the ritual. Finally broke away, and have enjoyed the
freedom of being able to do anything I wanted to, on Tuesday 
afternoons.  I can create havoc in the kitchen potting up new
seedlings and not have to worry about making room for
dinner -- while I have my great Irish music on hammering at
the rafters. I can pick up a friend and go out for the kind of
dinner which Jimmie hates. The adventures are endless . . . 

So starting immediately, I will keep him company on the trek
out to New Jersey.  I have resolved not to show my animosity, 
because what I am doing is simply the culmination of the
vow we took 57 years ago, "for better or worse".  So be it.

Penny, NY 

 

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