----- Original Message ----- From: "penny x stamm" <pennyx1@Juno.com> >he is fiercely independent (as I undoubtedly also am) and will allow no person on this >earth to push him against his will. Logic never enters into it. > > His answer to my insistance is that when I had my back surgery, he thoroughly >disapproved of the treatments (which I knew) but he said then that it was my body, and >up to me to decide what I wanted done. Now he demands the same courtesy. > No matter how much I say that suicide is one thing, but stroke is another, I get >nowhere. > Penny, NY Penny I do hope all turns out well for you and your hubby. If that means a 3rd episode to get him to take care of the matter I hope it is just good enough to do the job and no damage. If he demands the same courtesy that is fine. Do you think he would mind or think twice if you started looking for a nice nursing home to put him in if he continues to take serious chances with his health and has a stroke? If you had back surgery it will more than likely be too difficult to man handle him if the stroke were to do serious damage and he needed help that required all the lifting and tugging that is sometimes involved. Sometimes men like this it would only,make them more stubborn. Sometimes it just slaps them in the face enough when you start double checking wills, cemetery plots and health care facilities they decide to behave and take care of their bodies. Stuff like this is just a dirty trick but if it works on your type of spouse go for it! Hey, who will pull all the stumps out and dig all your holes and keep you warm in the winter if he has to have someone help him do even the minor things in life?! A little aspirin taking to be with your spouse longer or to keep from having nursing care doesn't seem like much to ask. Mothers Day is coming up, that would be a nice gift to you. I hope your independent man decides to give you a nice Mothers Day gift. Okie zone 7a aka " Ranchmama "