[gardeners] 6 y..o.

byron bromley (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Sun, 11 Feb 2001 09:06:10 -0500 

For those who already have children past age 6, this is hilarious.
 For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
 For those who have children nearing this age, this is
 a warning.
 For those who have not yet had children, this is birth
 control.
 The following came from a mother in Austin, Texas.

 THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN...(HONEST AND
 NO KIDDING):

 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a  2000 sq.ft house
   4 inches deep.

 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
 over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

 3. A 3 year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
 strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman  underwear and a
 superman cape.  However, it is strong enough if tied to a paint can, to
 spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is  on. When
using
  the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
 you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

 6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by
  a ceiling fan.

 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too
late.

 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

 9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A
 magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

 10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four
 year old.

 11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

 12. Super glue is forever.

 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimmingpool you
 still can't walk on water.

 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV
 commercials show they do.

 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
 Plastic toys do not like ovens.

 20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.

 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.

 22. It will however make cats dizzy.

 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

 24. The mind of a six year old is wonderful.