[gardeners] The chill bite of winter

penny x stamm (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Fri, 2 Mar 2001 00:23:32 -0500

Still struggling with the excess rain? At 34 degrees, Jimmie chooses
to trot outside with a wheelbarrow and a long handled shovel, and
he has been digging a hole in the ground to find the end of the drainage 
pipe which backs up and floods our cellar floor in a storm. Doesn't
matter how or what I scream from the porch, he pretends he cannot hear
me, and just keeps on digging. How, in the name of heaven, can he
penetrate the supposedly frozen earth...?

Half an hour later he comes flying in, bellowing for me. "The water's
POURING into the hole I just made!  Come out here and see it!" "Nope!"
I yell back -- "I'n NOTgoing out there in this weather!  You are crazy
to be digging!"  "But you've got to see this!" "Listen, sweatheart (thru
clenched teeth), I'll wait for kinder weather, thank you!" And I slam the

Later on I simply have to get to the post office, and when I return guess
what I have found.....  The wheel is off the old Toyota, the car is up on
jack, the trunk is torn apart, and Jimmie is under the car. "WHAT on 
earth are you doing, for Gawd's sake?"  " I'm inspecting the window
washer fluid bottle. There's nothing wrong with it! "  and I start the 
screaming ----  I don't say anything about how can you be so dumb as
to get under the car with no one home to check on you..? I just scream,
"You KNOW there's a crack in that bottle!  All the fluid drops right down

on the pavement, as soon as I fill it! And furthermore, you KNOW that I
ordered a new bottle from Toyota this afternoon!  Why wait until that 
moment to pull this caper?" "Your phone call just reminded me that I
wanted to see for myself -- you know how curious I am. . . and there
is nothing wrong with the bottle. I think the hose is crimped." 

I fled the scene. 

Dinnertime, we take off for the China Buffet, 4 miles away.  At the first
intersection, Jimmie starts to turn right. "It's LEFT, Jim! " I call out.

Only lived here 48 years...   "Oh, I'm confused. Can't see anything."
"Why can't you see anything, James?" "Wrong glasses..."  I groan,
knowing that I cannot drive at night anymore. We go home to change
the glasses...  

Life has its ups and downs, but this surely has been a long slide.

Penny, NY 


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