[gardeners] OT - Deep thoughts

Margaret Lauterbach (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Wed, 13 Nov 2002 07:20:09 -0700

>1. Men are like Slinkies:  not really good for anything, but you still can't
>help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
>2. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and
>think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
>3. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
>4. The other night I ate at a really nice family restaurant. Every table had
>an argument going.
>5. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder in the car these days no
>one talks about seeing UFO's like they used to?
>6. You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just
>on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over, but at the last
>second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.
>7. According to a recent survey, men say that the first thing they notice
>about a woman are their eyes. And women say that the first thing they notice
>about men is that they're a bunch of liars.
>8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
>9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
>10. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
>substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?
>11. I'm not 40-something. I'm $39.95, plus shipping and handling.
>12. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS
>weird and people take Prozac to make it seem normal.
>13. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
>realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
>14. There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly
>what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and
>be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is
>another theory which states that this has already happened.
>15. How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes
>a whole box to start a campfire?
>16. Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an
>appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd have come to me sooner."
>17. You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally,
>but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15
>years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster. You are two days late with a video
>and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of