[gardeners] OT: If Microsoft had invented books

George Shirley (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Mon, 03 Feb 2003 08:53:29 -0600

     If Microsoft had been the first to invent books:

     1. Before you can open the cover of your new book, you must
     obtain a book activation code by phoning Microsoft.
     2. Sorry, only one person may ever read your book.
     3. It's full of spelling mistakes and typos.
     4. When you're reading your book, the type can mysteriously
     5. Libraries, which are for sharing books, are illegal.
     6. You must acknowledge you have read and understood the Book
     License Agreement Hype (BLAH) before you can read your book.
     7. Microsoft has the right to enter your premises to conduct
     book inspections to make sure your book is being read in
     accordance with the BLAH.
     8. The Book Users' Group General Alliance (BUGGA) calculates
     that the annual loss of revenues to Microsoft arising from
     BLAH violations in 2001 was $10.97 billion.
     9. There are two versions of your book - the "Standard" and
     the "Pro" versions. In the standard version, those pages
     containing the most useful information have been stuck
     10. Confidential information is inexplicably in bigger type
     that can be easily read by anyone glancing over your shoulder.