Well, the funny thing is I know the lyrics to a bunch of these songs!! Howzabout: "Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life, end over end neither left, nor to right. Right through the heart of those righteous uprights. So, drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life!" Or: "Baby you just sort stepped on my a/orta. You done tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat!" I don't suppose there's the C&W hall of fame waiting for any of these authors?? Back to chiles my wife gave me the coolest nightgown (one of those things that Ebeneezer Scrooge would wear), with dogs and chiles all over it! And my son and daughter gave me a chile apron (for all those days (and nights) spent in the kitchen making and bottling hot sauce!). My dog didn't get me anything (sigh), but he did eat my wife's lambskin slipper. Wishing all of you the Merriest of Christmases. May we exchange ideas, assistance, recipes and e-mails for many years to come!! Robert.