[gardeners] Sqashoid Protection Agency directive 4.39203.a95HQ
Also Ran (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Wed, 17 Jun 1998 09:13:26 PDT
TO: Citizen asidv@fbg.net and all accomplices
RE: You are in violation of SPA directive 843.220.loon3
We here at SPA regularly monitor all communications that take place on t
he Internet. We are the government, after all, and it is our duty to
keep America and Americans safe from personal freedoms not covered by
Federal oversight.
It has come to our attention that you are attempting to interfere with
the natural life and growth cycle of an unidentified Curcurbita species
THAT YOU VOLUNTARILY PLANTED in your garden.
Cease and desist immediately. We have no record of your filing any
Environmental Impact Analysis requesting permission to interfere with
the habitat. As you know, we here in Washington have identified your
part of the country as a hotbed of troublemakers, malcontents, and
renegades. You have been informed that you may not remove native or
naturalized vegetation from your property without the prior permission
of The Federal Government. We will take whatever action is necessary to
preclude your disturbing of the remaining Cucurbita specimens, since we
are of the opinion that Cucurbita roots are a favorite food of the
Golden Cheeked Warbler. And you know how we deal with people who mess
with the GCW.
In Government we Trust,
Al and Tipper
Honorary SPA Float Custodians
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