[gardeners] Sqashoid Protection Agency directive 4.39203.a95HQ

Also Ran (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Wed, 17 Jun 1998 09:13:26 PDT

TO: Citizen asidv@fbg.net and all accomplices
RE: You are in violation of SPA directive 843.220.loon3

We here at SPA regularly monitor all communications that take place on t 
he Internet. We are the government, after all, and it is our duty to 
keep America and Americans safe from personal freedoms not covered by 
Federal oversight.

It has come to our attention that you are attempting to interfere with 
the natural life and growth cycle of an unidentified Curcurbita species 

Cease and desist immediately. We have no record of your filing any 
Environmental Impact Analysis requesting permission to interfere with 
the habitat. As you know, we here in Washington have identified your 
part of the country as a hotbed of troublemakers, malcontents, and 
renegades. You have been informed that you may not remove native or 
naturalized vegetation from your property without the prior permission 
of The Federal Government. We will take whatever action is necessary to 
preclude your disturbing of the remaining Cucurbita specimens, since we 
are of the opinion that Cucurbita roots are a favorite food of the 
Golden Cheeked Warbler. And you know how we deal with people who mess 
with the GCW.

In Government we Trust,
Al and Tipper
Honorary SPA Float Custodians

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