[gardeners] Violation of SPA statutes 493.96GLUB(a7) and 908.22SINK

Also Ran (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Fri, 19 Jun 1998 06:49:13 PDT

It has come to Tipper's and my attention that certain individuals
here are making threats against critters that are protected by Federal 
statute. As you know, Federal protection is ONLY provided to species 
having more than two legs. Further, carnivores are most 
excluded on general principles, as are any specimens showing
signs of frontal lobe development. In the eyes of The Governement,
frontal lobes are a poor foundation for the kind of critical
thinking and decision making that is required in a Modern 

But I digress--an occupational hazard for a High Government Official 
such as myself (and Tipper, too).

To get to the point: 

A) be advised that the GCW (Golden Cheeked Warbler) is not to be 
plucked, stuffed, trussed. It is not to be roasted, braised, or baked. 
All citizens are reminded that terminal Cedar Fever is a small price for 
the human species to pay for the preservation of the GCW's nesting site. 
The GCW is not expendable; the same can not be said for humans. 
B) The importation of life forms from Louisiana to Texas is a 
contradiction in terms. Send the borers to Hilary; she has need for 

In Government we Trust,
Al and Tipper, too.

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