[gardeners] Re: EC squash

asidv@fbg.net (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Fri, 19 Jun 1998 12:15:14 +0000

It is my sad duty to report that the squash are blooming. Physical, 
chemical, and spiritual weapons seem powerless in the face of this 
plant. We are resigned to destruction.
	While my NGP stands guard with his .12 gauge (thank you, George, for 
the suggestion), warnings have been sent to the following:
	Sheriff: His response, "Well, hell lady, I grow tomatoes for profit 
and I'd be a low down varmint if I ever knocked growing something 
bigger or more resistant to shipping  I always say, the bigger the 
tomato (or squash) the greater the profit. I'm a Miracle Gro man 
	Mayor:  Her response, "Miz Pat, what a wonderful tourist 
attraction this will be. I'll get right on the Visitor's and 
Convention Bureau and I know they will arrange for parking, 
publicity, and all those other good stuffs."	
	Chief of Police: "Save a couple of those squash for me and the boys. 
I'm right partial to a mess of squash cooked with Velveeta and topped 
with Ritz cracker crumbs."	
	County Agent: "Be sure to save a few seeds for me to pass around to 
these dudes who have moved here from the big cities. There is 
nothing more fun than funnin' the tenderfeet"
	F.D.A.: "You planted WHAT? You had no permit. The EPA, ESA, FBI, 
NATO, KKK, and BSA all have warrants for your arrest."	
          *    *   *   *   *    *
We are reduced to sitting quietly and remembering all of the good 
times. Sort of like the musicians on the Titanic, we'll play on until 
we go down for good. Your sympathies and encouragements, and our 
memories WILL sustain us through this dark time or to the End.  Pat