[gardeners] DeDe skins some taters

Cousin DeDe (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Sat, 4 Jul 1998 14:52:08 +0000

Dear Beulah Mae,

Ain't as good as Uncle's Cherried Herrings for what ails you, but that
Pepto Bismol stuff is powerful tonic, I gotta admit. I be feeling a sight
better, so I'll get back to tell you how we is observing this Day of
Feeding, Feuding, and Flying the Flag.

Anyways, I was telling you about the 'tater salad Chatty Cathy served up 
once we done finished scraping the corn cobs off our plates.

Buelah gal, were do I start?  You know I'd never say a right unkind thing 
about our cousin, but that concoction of hers was the most disgraceful 
looking mess of stuff I ever laid my old eyes on. It was worse than the 
time Miz McCornmac put Miracle Whip in the chicken salad she was carrying 
to the monthly meeting of The Herb Ladies. Poor McCormac, she's never been 
invited back. I hear tell that she's just shriveled up and taken up with 
some foreign fellow and the both of them's gotten themselves all tied up 
with them Spice Gals in Hollywood. It's a pity; Lord, it's a pitty. 

The real shame of what Chatty did to them 'taters is that her very own 
mama came into this world through potato portals of Ide-Hoe! Now, MaPat 
got herself to Texas just as soon as it was fitting and says she don't 
remember too much about 'taters, but I got my suspicions that MaPat was 
just burning for shame seeing her gal child serve them 'taters to all the 
kin and company. 

Now hush up Beulah.I know you're sitting there thinking  that DeDe ain't 
never gonna come to the point and I know you is itching to know what was 
wrong with them 'taters. Hold your horse tracess, gal; I'm getting to it. 
I gots to work up to this kind of declamation and defamation real slow. 
Might give myself an attack of the vapors otherwise. 

I think I'm gonna go get me some Cherried Herrings this time. Be back just 
as soon as I finish pittin' em and tossing out the bones. I'll give you a 
hint about Chatty's 'taters though: She didn't listen to her County Agent. 
And that's a fact. 

Your cousin DeDe