[gardeners] Bam-Bam

Margaret Lauterbach (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Sun, 05 Jul 1998 09:40:20 -0600

Hey, Cousin Bub...I mean, Bam Bam:  What are you doing, sittin' around with
your teeth in your mouth?  Speak up, girl!  Old Cousin DeDe is havin' to do
it all by herself, don'tcha know.  Quivvie is hidin' 'cause she got herself
a new fur coat.  What kind o' fur?  Well, it's a Lapin, whatever that is.
Quivvie had a big old tear slide down his face, then he got into the coat
closet.  I hear muffled whimpering, but that's about it.  Is a Lapin one o'
them critters that stalks bigger animals than they are, then tries to kill
'em?  Quivvie sure acts scared.  I just hope it ain't no endangerous
critter.  Don't want no red paint splashed on me, nossir!  Got me a new
smock made out o'flour sacks.  It's real fancy, with pockets an'
ever'thing.  A pocket for my pipe, an' a separate one for my 'baccy.  If'n
I accidental-like put my pipe away hot, at least it won't burn up my
'baccy.  I got holes in my pocket o'the new smock already.  Smocks is smart
now.  Makin' a comeback jest like them knee britches that golfer wore.
They called "knickers," I think.  Big blowsy blonde woman from England
stopped by here last week and paid me to let her stay here overnight, and
not to say nothin' to nobody.  Well, a lot o'people stopped and asked had I
seen her, and o'course I said no.  One was a sheriff.  Well, when I went to
wake her up this mornin', there was a man in her bed, too.  He took one
look and skee-daddled.  Looked a awful lot like Jimbo, boils on his bottom
and all.   She asked if I had any clean knickers, and I tole her I hadn't
even seen any dirty ones for twenty years or more.  She rolled her eyes
around and vamoosed.  Well, I got work to do outside.  Gotta cut ole Pete
'fore he has any more young 'uns.  Can't take care o' what he's got.
'Course I got to catch him first, so that's what I'll be doin' today, Cuz.
So wake up, and keep ol' DeDe company for a while, eh?  Cousin Hurrah Cane.