[gardeners] DeDe joins Hurra Cane in calling for Bam Bam
Cousin DeDe (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Sun, 5 Jul 1998 16:07:18 +0000
Dear Cousin Bam-Bam,
I'm writing you 'cause I learned some right distressing news about our
Cousin Belle Ringer. Seems Belle got herself crosswise with that Sheriff
Yin. By the way, I think that Yin fellow may be second cousin thrice
removed from Sheriff Yang, but then you never know with them folks that get
themselves born on the wrong side of the sheets, if you know what I mean
(and I'm sure that you do know since you is a well-brought up gal and you
got your own cross to bear what with Jimbo). It's so hard to divine the
character of the entire tree when some of the grafts ain't done by the
book. But don't you feel bad, the rest of us in the family don't hold Jimbo
against you. Really we don't.
I was talking about Belle, so I'll just be continuing on with it.
Bam-Bam, hold onto your bonnet: Belle's got herself in the pokey. I hear
tell they is making her wear a fifth hand dress made out of pale pink
polyester stretch velour and it ain't becoming to Belle in the leastest
way. I mean Belle's got herself a little bit of a tummy now that she's
spending so much time talking on that computer device she got, and stretch
velour just ain't fitting when it's tight in the tummy. But at least the
creases fall on out when Belle gets out of her chair. Never did like to see
a woman with a big smile across her lap; just isn't ladylike, you know what
I mean? Cousin Sadie used to say that a lady without the proper foundation
garments just wasn't up to receiving and no proper foundation garment would
leave no way for any creases to get settled, no matter what.
Be that as it may, we gotta do something about getting Belle out of the
clutches of that Sheriff Yin. I'm hoping you or Beulah Mae got some ideas.
I'll even take some help from that Guido feller. He might be real useful
and looks to me like he's getting real sweet on you.
I gots to go get some more egg money together for Preacher. Edna's done her
tithe, so I guess I best get on to doing mine. I'll send a copy of this to
Cousin Hurrah Cane; poor things real excitable these days. Must be the
heat, 'cause it sure couldn't be no hooch.
Your cousin DeDe