[gardeners] Re: Rain, please go away . .

penny x stamm (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Mon, 17 Apr 2000 01:40:37 -0400


AMOF, I've pulled out the folder on the Funeral Society and am 
openly researching it.  Yesterday I asked him for the 10th time
what he would do if I were to die today, and his answer was that
he couldn't remember. I'm afraid that's the answer to a lot of
things now.  He did open his wallet and retrieve a card which says
he wants to give his body to the medical school -- but by law, that
can only happen if he dies within the borough of Manhattan, 
and that's not where we are. So I intend to do more interviewing
starting Monday -- and yes, he realizes all of this. 

He seems to have two things going on in his brain right now. The
first and most boisterous (and dangerous) is his purposeful 
undertaking of all the very heavy work which he has been 
accustomed to doing. I hear him groan very often that he cannot
believe that he has grown so old..!  He has disabled the powder room
toilet, the two showers, and the kitchen fluorescent fixture, because
he is going "to fix them". I found him up on the kitchen counter today,
trying to get his arm up high enough to unscrew the fixture -- but 
he has injured his shoulders falling, so that arm doesn't want to rise 
that high, plus he is very tall and very wobbly. Whew --it's just like
having an 18-month-old child in here who has leaned to run, and
gee whiz, you never know what trouble he is going to get into next..!
The other thing going on in his brain seems to be an expectation of
very immediate death.  If he were only reasonable and rational, he
would not punish his body so physically, and he could live on for 
another 10 or 15 years easily, considering his family genes. 

I told him tonight that at his age, he is not expected to do EVERYTHING
that he used to do -- he is expected to sit back and give sage advice
to all the younger folk . . . . 

Funny you should bring it up, but we started out married life
57 years ago in Miami beach in the Army, during WW2.  Jim
insisted that I learn to carry him across my shoulder, in case 
of a hurricane ["fireman's carry"].  Well, at 6ft 2", that was just 
not possible -- I was young and eager, but I didn't have a developed 
biceps in my vocabulary -- yet.  Never succeeded. 

Today we do have nursing home insurance, and I only hope
that we never will need it. 

I know who will help me pull all the stumps out and dig all the
holes -- but I sure don't know who will keep me warm in the
winter . . . . 

Penny, NY


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