Re: [gardeners] ...streaking...

penny x stamm (
Mon, 28 Aug 2000 02:56:08 -0400

Margaret,  Jimmie couldn't find his keys anywhere today. He
moaned and groaned and searched, to no avail. Finally I said,
"Hey, you had them last night when you put the car away -- did you
look in your grey pants..? "

"What grey pants?" 

"Your charcoal grey chinos."

"I'm not sure what charcoal grey is..."

"Oh, good Lord, " raising my voice, "dark grey! Where you been
for 78 years...?"

"They're on a hook in back of my closet.  I checked. "

"How about your navy shorts? Your bathrobe? Oooh, yes, 
you didn't have ANY pants on when you put the car away!
How about the mackinaw?"

"The mackinaw?  Was I wearing it..?"

"Charley Brown, yes, you were wearing it!" and I trotted over
to the front hall closet and pulled out the keys......  Seeing 
this, Jim decided that the house was too cold. Outside it was 
somewhere in the 80s with 94% humidity all day, and the inside
of the house I kept at 80*.  So Jimmie put on the mackinaw.  In
the house. And he kept it on for hours, and all thru dinner. I did
not say one word.  His computer room isn't even air conditioned!

We ate dinner watching 60 Minutes. At the end he got up, 
poured himself a cup of coffee, and walked alongside the table to 
put it in the microwave. Picked up the plate with lemon meringue
pie on it, and the cuppa coffee, and the next thing I knew he was
crashing between the stove and the table, and thunderously down
onto the floor. . .   Remember those floppy socks..?  His right foot
had stepped on the left foot sock, and he had tripped himself. 
Coffee, plate and pie went sailing all over James, and he ended up
sitting in half of it.  Must have been a very hard fall, for from his
moans and groans, I thought he had broken his rib cage. 

First thing out of his mouth was, "I've GOT to get me some slippers!"

"Why do you keep taking your shoes off, for heaven's sake?"

"Oh, I dunno. Just hate to wear them, I guess." 

"Well, the rest of the world manages to keep its shoes on -- go
ahead, get yourself some slippers -- what's $50 or $75 anyway?
But YOU've got to do the shopping. I'm not touching this one!"

And you know Margaret, he will go out and pick up a pair for $6
from Shoe King Sam's, and NEVER wear 'em. They won't fit.

And I washed the mackinaw, and the shorts, and the socks, and 
the stove, and the entire table, and the floor ...  and tomorow I
just know that he will still be wearing a pair of floppy socks, and
no shoes.  And not too much more clothing, either. 

Penny, NY

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