[gardeners] Losing my marbles --

penny x stamm (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Sun, 1 Oct 2000 01:43:15 -0400

I glanced thru the front window at a squirrel sitting upright on his 
fanny with a posture that was enviable -- and I quickly realized
that the ground was no longer level and smooth. In fact, it was
no longer green....! 

Sprinting thru the front door at the speed of light - or nearly so - 
I quickly came upon the carnage.  The entire lawn had been
ravaged. That means grubs. And it follows that this means
skunks (which we have not smelled lately) or any of the other
$%#&!^&!  which tear apart the turf in their search for grubs. 

All summer I had kept an eagle eye on the lawn (we have 
16,000 sqft in toto) and had seen no evidence of any problem,
so I chose not to put down a preventive application of grub
killer.  Have never heard of lawn destruction on Oct. 1st -- it
must occur, but it's not common. 

OK, it was already 4:30pm, and Jimmie had just been called by a
neighbor to come fix a downed computer. Jim rose to the occasion
(I was frantic) and agreed to spread the chemical. I ran up with an
aluminum rake to clear away all the debris, but it was not feasible.
The torn up duffs were still attached to the ground, and I am under 
orders not to do garden labor -- and then Jim said gee, I think I'd
better mow first....  

Well, I brought up 5  32-gal pails for his use, and he managed to
fill them all!  We had put down half strength fertilizer two weeks
ago, and the stuff was growing faster than we could clip it . . 
The front measures 6800 sqft, but the grass was thick - remember,
we nearly drowned this summer with some 16 inches of rain, and
the lawn loved it. Of course, this slowed down the mower, so it took
Jimmie an hour to mow. 

At this point he was exhausted, and would do no more.  Literally
translated that means that the perpetrators will have the freedom 
to finish destroying the front yard, and to attack the back yard tonite, 
because we could not apply the chemical. 

Oh how I wish we were 35 again -- then we'd be out there by 
starlight, with photographic reflectors hanging from the trees to
illuminate the lawn, and Jim would be spreading the chemical while
I walked the perimeter of the property sprinkling heavy doses of
cayenne pepper at my feet . .  that's what the local police told me
to do those 40 years ago when I called in to say that those lights
would stay on for the entire night, as a deterrent. I counted as I
sprinkled -- 920 running feet measure off the perimeter of the
lawn. A whale of a lot of cayenne .......

Anybody for Jambalaya for Sunday dinner ...? Don't know if it will
be possum or woodchuck, but it will be mighty tasty. Full of fury. 

Penny, NY


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