[gardeners] OT - Cats and teenagers
Margaret Lauterbach (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Tue, 27 Aug 2002 10:10:18 -0600
>
>Cats and Teenagers
>
>For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, or are a
>teenager, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats:
>
>- Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
>
>- No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed, all humane
>efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the privilege of waiting on
>them hand and foot.
>
>- You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human
>being, and it can be safely said that no teenager in his or her right mind
>wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.
>
>- Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your
>teen will ever crack a smile.
>
>- No cat or teenager shares your taste in music.
>
>- Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end
>without moving, barely breathing.
>
>- Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.
>
>- Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that
>ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
>
>- Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
>
>- Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return
>in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom.
>Teenagers are not above that sort of behavior.
>
>Thus, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not
>other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a
>guidebook on cats at hand at all times. And remember, above all else, put
>out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When
>they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection
>and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.
>
>