[gardeners] OT: A somewhat revised version of "Life"

Margaret Lauterbach (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Mon, 26 Aug 2002 10:30:55 -0600

>Life Explained.
>On  the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to field
>with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and
>give milk to  support  the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty
>The cow  said,  "That's  a  kind  of a tough life you want me to live
>for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other
>forty."  And God agreed.
>On  the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the
>door of  your  house  and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I
>will give you  a  life  span  of twenty years."  The dog said, "That's
>too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other
>ten." So God agreed (sigh).
>On  the  third  day  God created the monkey. God said, entertain
>people, do monkey  tricks,  make  them  laugh. I'll give you a twenty
>year life span."
>Monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think
>so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God
>agreed again.
>On  the  fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have
>sex, enjoy.  Do  nothing,  just  enjoy,  enjoy. I'll give you twenty
>Man said,  "What?  Only  twenty  years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll
>take my twenty,  and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back
>and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
>"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."
>So  that  is  why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have
>sex, enjoy,  and  do  nothing;  for  the next forty years we slave in
>the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey
>tricks to entertain our  grandchildren; and for the last ten years we
>sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.
>Life has now been explained