There's at least one good thing about bread...eaten before a drinking binge absorbs the alcohol and thus one is spared of a sizable hangover! Sunny Celeste or Dave Anderson wrote: > This message arrived at the same time as 2 pounds of Jim Campbell's > Red Savina Habanero powder. I think it's time that someone re-posted > the recipe for "THE BREAD". > > Hope you all enjoy this as much as I did. > > Dave Anderson > Tough Love Chile Co. > http://www.tough-love.com > > Recent research on bread (you thought it was an innocent food) has shown > some startling findings.... > > 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. > > 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming > households score below average on standardized tests. > > 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in > the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; > infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died > in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and > influenza ravaged whole nations. > > 4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within > 24 hours of eating bread. > > 5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been > proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to > suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than > that in one month! > > 6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low > incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and > osteoporosis. > > 7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of > bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as > little as two days. > > 8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to > "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even > cold cuts. > > 9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is > more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could > lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food > product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person. > > 10. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 Degrees > Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one > minute. > > 11. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish > between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical > babbling. > > In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread > restrictions: > > 1. No sale of bread to minors. > > 2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV > spots and bumper stickers. > > 3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal > ills we might associate with bread. > > 4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may > appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage. > > 5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.