[gardeners] Mother's Day from my brother-in-law

penny x stamm (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Sun, 10 May 1998 18:41:50 -0400 

            When God Created Mothers
                    by Erma Bombeck

When the good Lord was creating mothers He was into His sixth 
day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said, "You're 
doing a lot of fiddling around this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the specs on this order? 
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic; Have 180 
moveable parts... all replaceable; Run on black coffee and 
leftovers; Have a lap that disappears when she stands up; A kiss 
that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love 
affair; And six pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands... 
no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord. 
"It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when 
she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" when she already 
knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she 
shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in 
front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, "I 
understand and I Love You" without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord", said the angel, toughing His sleeve gently, "Come to bed.
Tomorrow..."

"I can't," said the Lord, "I'm so close to creating something so 
close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she 
is sick... can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger... 
and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. "It's too soft," 
she sighed.

"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what 
this mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?"

"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise," said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. 
"There's a leak," she pronounced. "I told You. You were trying to put
too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord, "it's a tear."

"What's it for?"

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride."

"You are a genius," said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."


[Penny]

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