Re: [gardeners] The Neighbor

Jane Burdekin (
Thu, 11 Jun 1998 08:33:47 -0600

I think you handled it just right, like a true southern lady would have.  Jane

>Jane wrote:
>> I feel your pain.  LOL.  I'm so sorry about the neighbor, try to control
>> yourself.  Maybe best to stay inside and not make eye contact else you will
>> bust out laughing.  Good luck.
>Proper little Southern lady that my Mama rasied me to be, I immediately
>dug out my very best Crane's. A traditional  informal wouldn't
>do....neither would a plain half sheet....I settled on a white vellum card
>with taupe engraving for the discrete monogram (you see, Southerners don't
>just go in for "social stationary".....we have Stationary Wardrobes. And
>we are terribly big on monograms....just in case we forget who we are, we
>can check out our stationary rather than have to call one's relatives for
>a refreasher course in Just Who Are My Mama's People Anyway?
>Having settled on the appropriate paper, I retired to the kitchen to try
>and remove the day's accumulation of Georgia red clay and squashed bugs
>from my hands and forearms. I have been spending a lot of time in the
>garden, you see, and like Scarlett, I'd forgotten to wear my gloves.
>Five minutes with a nailbrush, Clorox, and Lava soap, and I was ready to
>take pen in hand without fear of soiling the pristine surface of Craine's
>A few minutes spent sitting up straight at my genuine Ladies' Writing Desk
>and my note of gracious and heartfelt congratulations to Mr. Meaders oozed
>from my pen.  As a final gesture of True Southron Hypocrisy, I tucked in a
>package of seeds for the Beautification of my neighbor's Shining Tribute
>to Yardening. I wrote in my note that the "mystery seeds"  were rare
>and special and would be the talk of the neighborhood.
>Hell will freeze before I'll ever say what the seeds are <bg>. After all,
>I don't want to end up like my other neighbor.....wearing an ankle
>bracelet so the local Law Enforcement types can keep track of him at all