[gardeners] Texians

Margaret Lauterbach (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Wed, 01 Jul 1998 13:41:21 -0600

Lissen here, Texians.  You all are bitchin' and moanin' about your drought,
but I don't see newspaper stories of anything burnin'.  The stakes on the
Plains are the only thing flammable down there, aren't they?  Instead we
read stories about the Texas Hair Ball.  Now I like to choked on that, but
the story said it was real.  Wimminfolk went to the hairdressers, don'tcha
know, and got their hair piled higher 'n a derrick.  Couldn't even ride
normal in a car, but had to be hauled, a lyin' down.  Well, that is, them
women that weren't wearin' hoopskirts.  The hoopskirt set had to be hauled
in truck vans.  Spend the whole evenin' standin' up, 'cause if you sit
wearin' a hoopskirt, your skirt flips right in your face and your privates
are public.  How you gonna sleep? Your hair is on the pillow and your head
is somewhere south of there, your legs hanging off the bed.   Criminently,
ain't they afraid that hair will crack and break even with toilet paper
wrapped around it?    They gonna wear that with a ratty robe and scuffs to
fix breakfast?  Apart from dusting the chandeliers and light fixtures, I
don't see the good.  Might rid the property of armadilloes, scalawags and
cockroaches, though.  M. Lawndale