[gardeners] July 4

Margaret Lauterbach (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Sun, 05 Jul 1998 07:13:39 -0600

Dear Cousin DeDe:
Well, I see you had yourself one of your celebrated non-traditional July
4ths.  We did too, up here in upper Gamboozia.  It started out normal
enough, but Cousin Ed went to light the barbecue, used too much o' that
danged liquid, and WHOOMP!  Burned his eyebrows and eyelashes clean off,
even burned the hair in his ears, which was a good thing, I guess.  The
flames was a lickin' high and wide, when they reached out and grabbed the
cornpatch.  Well, I want to tell you, I didn't think that corn was far
along, but I guess it was.  Ears started poppin', and it was July 4th in
the cornpatch with explodin' popcorn an'all.  Cousin Judy and her feller
came scootin' out o' thar buttonin' their clothes and tryin' to get the
sandburs out o' their feet, when a real funny smell came from the field.
Next thing we knowed, thar was Old Sheriff Yin and his deputies, noses in
the air like bloodhounds.  I thought we had us a goodly patch o' corn this
year, but there was only a border of about 6 stalks and inside there was a
whole field of a real pretty big plant that smoldered when the fire hit it.
Looked kind of like a aralia.   Guess that was the smell we was a smellin'.
 Cousin Billdo told me it was pot, but I couldn't see how anyone could use
that kind of plant as a pot.  Why, liquids would just pour right on
through.  I hit him on the shoulder an' told him to quit funnin' me.  Guess
I hit him harder 'n I thought, since he fell flat on his face in the pond.
One o' the deputies pulled 'im out and put handcuffs on him.  While I was
just standin' there watchin', someone put 'em on me, too.  So now at least
I got a place to stay and one of them writin' machines so's I can write to
you.  I pasted a stamp on the screen so's I can mail the letter.  Hope this
finds you.  Cousin Belle Ringer.