[gardeners] DeDe writes to Uncle Harold Hampton-Court

CousinElla Mae (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Mon, 6 Jul 1998 10:48:51 -0700 (PDT)

My Dearest Cousin DeDe,

I heard that you were asking about dear Cousin Bambie,
and I just had to write and tell you.
You heard that she had taken up with this Eye-talian
fellow, name of Guido?  Well, what a dresser!!  This 
fellow has a different color suit and tie for every day
of the week!!  I'm really rather partial to the pink
one, but he won't wear that one very often.  It looks so nice with
that bright red tie that he wears with it!
Well,don'cha know that he's also got a new car about every other week
or so too!  Some mighty fine cars too,
if I might add!  Cousin Bambie tells me that he's some
distant cousin of hers on her Daddy's side (you remember that her
Momma married that guy from above
the Mason-Dixon line?).  We try to keep that quiet around here, but
every body already knows it, so I'm not sure why we bother.  He was a
right fine looking
fellow, was Cousin Bambie's Daddy.  I can sure see
why her Momma took a liking to him.
Any way, this Guido fellow comes and picks Cousin Bambie up every so
often (at least twice a week, don'cha know), and they go off to do
"Missionary Work"
they say.  I can't see no sense in all of it, as Cousin Bambie is a
powerful good Southern Baptist and is solid as a rock in her religion.
So I just can't see where they might be going around here, when they
are only gone for a few hours to do any Missionary Work.  
This Guido fellow has some of the prettiest rings I ever did see, and,
Lawsy, has he give Cousin Bambie some beautiful things for helping him
with his Missionary Work!!  She's got this big old pretty diamond
that's so big she can hardly pick it up!  She wears in on a big old
chain around her neck.  It matches a smaller one that she wears on a
ring on her finger.  He gave her that on too!  I'd be about scared to
walk down the street with all that glittering stuff on me!  If the
birds didn't come to take me away, them theiving rascals that hang out
around Davis's store would want to rob me and maybe shoot me! No sir! 
It's not for me! Besides, Cousin Bambie hasn't even offered to give me
her little old diamond that she had before she got all these new ones!
 Can't imagine why she'd want to hold on to them old things anymore.

I do have to wonder where he gets all this stuff.  Maybe he's doing
Missionary Work with them rich folks
out on highway 40.  You know the ones in them big houses set way back
off the hiway, so's you can barely see them?  You know that the Good
Book says that it's powerful hard for a rich man to get into Heaven. 
They probably need all the Missionary Work they can get!

I've got to get outside and gather in the eggs, and get the chickens
settled for the night, but I did want to give you the latest news I
had on Cousin Bambie and her distant cousin Guido.

Please do write and let me know if you get new of Cousin Belle.  I
have been so worried about her.

Love y'all more,

Cousin Ella Mae


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