[gardeners] Groaners of the day... (fwd)
drusus@golden.net (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Fri, 31 Jul 1998 07:09:50 -0400
>> >> > Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they
>> >> > lit a fire in the craft it sank -- proving once and for all that
>> >> > you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
>> >> >
>> >> > --------------------------------------------------------
>> >> >
>> >> > Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to
>> >> > Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed
>> >> > behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
>> >> > The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser
>> >> > of two weevils.
>> >> >
>> >> > --------------------------------------------------------
>> >> >
>> >> > A mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a
>> >> > drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms
>> >> > here."
>> >> >
>> >> > The mushroom says, "Why?! I'm a fun guy!"
>> >> >
>> >> > --------------------------------------------------------
>> >> >
>> >> > A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.
>>
>> >> > He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' for the
>> >> > man who shot my paw."
>> >> >
>> >> > --------------------------------------------------------
>> >> >
>> >> > This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast
>> >> > while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over
>> >> > the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs benedict." His
>> >> > order comes a while later and it's served on a huge fancy
>> >> > chrome plate. He asks the waiter, "What's with the fancy
>> >> > plate?"
>> >> >
>> >> > The waiter replies, "There's no plate like chrome for the
>> >> > hollandaise!"
>> >> >
>> >> > --------------------------------------------------------
>> >> >
>> >> > Very early one morning two birds are sitting at the side of
>> >> > a large puddle of oil. They see a worm on the other side.
>> >> > So? the one flies over and the other one swims through --
>> >> > which one gets to the worm first?
>> >> >
>> >> > The one who swam, of course, because "Da oily boid
>> >> > gets da woim."
>> >> >
>> >> > --------------------------------------------------------
>> >> >
>> >> > When she told me I was average she was just being
>> >> > mean.
>> >> >
>> >> > --------------------------------------------------------
>> >> >
>> >> > A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How
>> >> > much for a beer?"
>> >> >
>> >> > The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
>> >> >
>> >> > --------------------------------------------------------
>> >> >
>> >> > Two molecules are walking down the street and they run
>> >> > in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all
>> >> > right?"
>> >> >
>> >> > "No, I lost an electron!"
>> >> >
>> >> > "Are you sure?"
>> >> >
>> >> > "I'm positive!"
>> >> >
>> >> > --------------------------------------------------------
>> >> >
>> >> > Did you hear about the New Age man who refused his
>> >> > dentist's Novocaine during root canal work?
>> >> >
>> >> > He wanted to transcend dental medication.