Re: [gardeners] Re: What's in the Basement?

George Shirley (
Wed, 24 Feb 1999 10:32:17 -0600

Harry Boswell wrote:

> ----- Original Message -----
> From: bsk <>
> Subject: [gardeners] Re: What's in the Basement?
> >Yes Gaye mice do such things!
> Gay mice do these things?  I never would have imagined!  Aunt Nelda Mae just
> plain fainted away when I read it to her, she just hates all this talk about
> private matters, you know.  Anyway, when she came to, she started wondering
> just how you know if they're gay, you know, they're so tiny anyway, and you
> must
> need a magnifying glass, but about that time she got all flustered again and
> fainted
> dead away.  And then Aunt Nelda Lou came in and saw Nelda Mae, and Nelda Lue
> got too excited and she fainted dead away.  Well,  when Nelda Mae came to,
> she
> saw Nelda Lou, and dangnabit if she didn't drop right back off.  Well, it
> turns out
> Nelda Lou had come into the house to get some rags for Uncle Homer, he's
> still trying to fix the 1963 Dodge that Aunt Nelda Jean shot with buckshot
> the
> night she took those pills Doc Mitchell gave her because she thought she had
> pig fever, they made her real crazy, you remember, and she thought aliens
> had
> landed just behind the cucumbers, and she got Homer's shotgun and went to
> blast
> them, but what she really did was trip over our old dog Buck, he was
> sleeping up on
> the porch that night 'cause it was so hot, but when Nelda Jean tripped over
> Buck, she
> fell into the porch railing and busted it right up, and she fell right off
> the porch, but while
> she was trying to get up, Buck, he had decided it wasn't so hot after all
> and he was
> headed back under the porch, but he ran over Nelda Jean as she was getting
> up,
> and she thought the aliens had her, so she fired the shotgun, but the poor
> Dodge
> was between her and the cucumbers by this time, and the while front got a
> double
> load of buckshot, and it hasn't run yet.  But when the gun went off, Buck
> thought
> she was after him, and he started running, and far as I know he hasn't
> stopped
> running yet.  Anyway, Homer keeps working on that car, and I keep looking
> for
> Buck.  So, Homer comes in, and sees Nelda Mae and Nelda Lou laid out on the
> floor and he ran to call Doc Mitchell, but I had gone to the kitchen to get
> some cold
> water, and about the time Homer got to the door, I was coming through it,
> and
> I opened it right on him, and dangnabit now Homer's laid out over by the
> space
> heater.  So get rid of those gay mice, 'cause you can see what kind of
> trouble they
> cause.  But I still don't know how you'll tell the gay ones, and I'm sure
> not gonna
> ask Nelda Mae.

Aha, confirmation that all wimmen in Mississippi are REALLY named Nelda
something. ;-)