[gardeners] OT - Desert Island

drusus@golden.net (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Sat, 27 Feb 1999 20:31:33 -0500

>>      A Desert Island
>>A hurricane came unexpectedly.  The ship went down and was lost.  The
>>man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other
>>people, no supplies, nothing.  Only bananas and coconuts.  Used to
>>5-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do, so for the next four
>>months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, and longed for his old
>>life.  He fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
>>One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the
>>corner of his eye.  It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous
>>woman he had ever seen.  She rowed up to him.  In disbelief, he asked
>>her: "Where did you come from?  How did you get here?"
>>"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here
>>when my cruise ship sank."
>>"Amazing," he said.  "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many
>>are there?  You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
>>"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up; nothing did."
>>He was confused.  "Then how did you get the rowboat?"
>>"Oh, simple," replied the woman.  "I made the rowboat out of materials
>>that I found on the island.  The oars were whittled from Gum tree
>>branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern
>>came from a Eucalyptus tree."
>>"B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered the man.  "You had no tools or
>>hardware.  How did you manage?"
>>"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the other side of the
>>island there is a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock exposed.  I
>>found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted
>>into forgeable ductile iron.  I used that for tools, and used the tools
>>to make the hardware. But enough of that," she said.  "Where do you
>>Sheepishly, he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the
>>whole time.  "Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said.  After
>>a few minutes of rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf.  As the
>>man looked to the shore he nearly fell out of the boat.  Before him was
>>a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue & white.
>>While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
>>the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.  As they walked into the
>>house,  she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home.  Sit
>>down, please; would you like a drink?"
>>"No, no thank you," he said, still dazed.  "I can't take any more
>>coconut juice."
>>"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied.  "I have a still. How about
>>a Pina Colada?"
>>Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her
>>to talk.  After they had exchanged their stories, the woman
>>announced, "I'm going to slip into something comfortable.  Would you
>>like to take a shower and shave?  There is a razor upstairs in the
>>cabinet in the bathroom."
>>No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in
>>cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle.  Two shells honed to a hollow
>>ground edge were fastened onto its end inside a swivel mechanism.
>>"This woman is amazing," he mused.  "What next?"
>>When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines
>>-strategically positioned -and smelling faintly of gardenias.  She
>>beckoned for him to sit down next to her.  "Tell me," she began,
>>suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a very
>>long time.  You've been  lonely. There's something I'm sure you really
>>feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these
>>months.  You know... ."  She stared into his eyes.
>>He couldn't believe what he was hearing.  "You mean--?" he replied, "I
>>can check my e-mail from here?"