Re: [gardeners] OT - Desert Island

Allen and Judy Merten (
Tue, 02 Mar 1999 13:30:32 -0600

Yep, too much coconut milk!! ROFLMAO!!
Bastrop Co., Tx. wrote:

> >>      A Desert Island
> >>
> >>A hurricane came unexpectedly.  The ship went down and was lost.  The
> >>man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other
> >>people, no supplies, nothing.  Only bananas and coconuts.  Used to
> >>5-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do, so for the next four
> >>months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, and longed for his old
> >>life.  He fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
> >>
> >>One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the
> >>corner of his eye.  It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous
> >>woman he had ever seen.  She rowed up to him.  In disbelief, he asked
> >>her: "Where did you come from?  How did you get here?"
> >>
> >>"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here
> >>when my cruise ship sank."
> >>
> >>"Amazing," he said.  "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many
> >>are there?  You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
> >>
> >>"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up; nothing did."
> >>
> >>He was confused.  "Then how did you get the rowboat?"
> >>
> >>"Oh, simple," replied the woman.  "I made the rowboat out of materials
> >>that I found on the island.  The oars were whittled from Gum tree
> >>branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern
> >>came from a Eucalyptus tree."
> >>
> >>"B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered the man.  "You had no tools or
> >>hardware.  How did you manage?"
> >>
> >>"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the other side of the
> >>island there is a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock exposed.  I
> >>found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted
> >>into forgeable ductile iron.  I used that for tools, and used the tools
> >>to make the hardware. But enough of that," she said.  "Where do you
> >>live?"
> >>
> >>Sheepishly, he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the
> >>whole time.  "Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said.  After
> >>a few minutes of rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf.  As the
> >>man looked to the shore he nearly fell out of the boat.  Before him was
> >>a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue & white.
> >>
> >>While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope,
> >>the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.  As they walked into the
> >>house,  she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home.  Sit
> >>down, please; would you like a drink?"
> >>
> >>"No, no thank you," he said, still dazed.  "I can't take any more
> >>coconut juice."
> >>
> >>"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied.  "I have a still. How about
> >>a Pina Colada?"
> >>
> >>Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her
> >couch
> >>to talk.  After they had exchanged their stories, the woman
> >>announced, "I'm going to slip into something comfortable.  Would you
> >>like to take a shower and shave?  There is a razor upstairs in the
> >>cabinet in the bathroom."
> >>
> >>No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in
> >the
> >>cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle.  Two shells honed to a hollow
> >>ground edge were fastened onto its end inside a swivel mechanism.
> >>
> >>"This woman is amazing," he mused.  "What next?"
> >>
> >>When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines
> >>-strategically positioned -and smelling faintly of gardenias.  She
> >>beckoned for him to sit down next to her.  "Tell me," she began,
> >>suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a very
> >>long time.  You've been  lonely. There's something I'm sure you really
> >>feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these
> >>months.  You know... ."  She stared into his eyes.
> >>
> >>He couldn't believe what he was hearing.  "You mean--?" he replied, "I
> >>can check my e-mail from here?"
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >