[gardeners] Senior Citizens

margaret lauterbach (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Mon, 27 Dec 1999 10:06:51 -0700

> I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts until
> 8 p.m.
> I'm very good at opening child proof caps with a
> hammer.
> I'm usually interested in going home before I get
> where I'm going.
> I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my
> aspirin, beano,
> antacid.
> I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.
> I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get
> up.
> I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word
> you are saying.
> I'm very good at telling stories... over and over and
> over and over.
> I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as
> bright as mine.
> I'm so cared for:  long-term care, eye care, private
> care, dental care.
> I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting,
> crowds, children,
>       politicians.
> I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.
> I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy... and that's just my
> left leg.
> I'm having trouble remembering simple words like ...
> I'm now spending more time with my pillows than my
> mate.
> I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.
> I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoking,
> anti-noise,
>       anti-inflammatory.
> I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it
> less.
> I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors:
> absolutely
> nothing.
> I'm sure they are making adults much younger these
> days.
> I'm in the initial stage of the golden years:  SS,
> CD's, IRA's, AARP.
> I'm wondering...if you're only as old as you feel, how
> can I be alive
> at
>       150?
> I'm supporting all movements now...by eating bran,
> prunes and raisins.
> I'm a walking storeroom of facts... I've just lost the
> storeroom.
> I'm a senior citizen and I think I am having the time
> of my life!!!