[gardeners] OT - humor, a la Gilbert and Sullivan
margaret lauterbach (gardeners@globalgarden.com)
Sat, 25 Mar 2000 09:01:16 -0700
By Alex Silbajoris (who gave permission for forwarding)
>
>I am the very model of a modern major gardener,
>with every pest my enemy and every bloom my partn-er.
>I scrutinize the listings in the newest nursery manuals
>and thoroughly have trained myself in handling of perennials.
>I'm practiced in the use and care of half a hundred garden tools,
>I know the mixing ratios for all the two-stroke motor fuels,
>I highly value safety and I follow the most stringent rules -
>And I never fill my mower until well after the engine cools!
>
>
>He never fills his mower until well after the engine cools
>he never fills his mower until well after the engine cools
>he never fills his mower until well after the engine, engine cools!
>
>
>I know my taxonomy from Abutilon to Zinnia;
>I know a sickly yucca from a juvenile dracinia;
>With every pest my enemy and every bloom my partn-er,
>I am the very model of a modern major gardener!
>
>
>I sieze all opportunities for hunting beetles Japanese,
>and if I please, on bended knees, I greet the eager honeybees.
>Should aphids dare to venture there,
>I'll spare no care toward their dispair,
>but share my garden fair with any mantis gallavanting there!
>Of grafting, double-digging and deadheading I know quite a bit.
>Whatever you would care to name I'll wager I have planted it.
>To purchase fertilizer, I don't buy just any brand of ... manure...
>and I'm always careful with my speech and you can count on that for sure!
>
>
>He is always careful with his speech and you can count on that for sure,
>he's always careful with his speech and you can count on that for sure,
>always careful with his speech
>and you can count on that for, that for sure!
>
>
>Then I can re-create the hanging gardens of old Babylon,
>or grade a level lawn for you to put a picnic table on.
>With every pest my enemy and every bloom my partn-er
>I am the very model of a modern major gardener!
>
>
>In fact when I know what is meant by "chloroplast" and "cambium;"
>When I can tell at sight mite infestation on geranium;
>When black spot, mildews, smuts, rust, scorch and dodder I'm more wary at,
>and when I know precisely what is in Lasso and Lariat,
>then I can drape a table with the harvest's flavor subtleties,
>Or spread a bed of flowers making color for your eye to see.
>In short, when I can please the various senses with such things as these -
>You'll say a better Major Garden-er has never stained his knees!
>
>
>For I've applied my genius to the wond'rous field of Botany
>where I find fascination where most others find monotony;
>with every pest my enemy and every bloom my partn-er,
>I am the very model of a modern major gardener!
>
>- - A
>