Re: [gardeners] Memory Garden

C Gribben (
Sat, 22 Sep 2001 12:38:03 -0400

Carol, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I think a memory garden could be a
very comforting way to work your way through the grief.  It would give
you a focus now, and a place for quiet contemplation later.

I don't have any specific ideas for plants, but I would suggest that
your seating area be somewhat enclosed by climbing vines over lattice,
or something to that effect.  It would feel sort of womb-like and to
me, at least, give you the idea of the plants reaching out and hugging
you.  If your location is at all public, it would also give you some


----- Original Message -----
From: "Carol J. Bova" <>
To: <>
Sent: Saturday, September 22, 2001 12:35 PM
Subject: [gardeners] Memory Garden

Hello folks,
Haven't been here in awhile because my 54 year old husband of 24
Murray Schiff, was diagnosed with lung cancer that had spread to the
on Aug. 15. He passed away at home peacefully on Sept. 19, 6 weeks to
day from when he first collapsed. (There were no symptoms at all prior

I am still in the numbing shock stage of things, but I know I'm going
to be
coming close to the edge of falling apart as that wears off. One thing
doing, is asking close friends not to send flowers, but to choose a
plant instead for the garden. I have shade, sun and partly both in
different areas, so I'll be able to use any kinds of plants. I have a
area with heavy live oak leaf cover. Are there plants that don't like
It's a western exposure, and shady til past midday from the house and
trees, then fully sunny.

Do any of you have any ideas on making a memory garden? I'm thinking
of doing something with a quiet area for sitting, but obviously,
thought it out at all yet. If you do have suggestions, I could hold
til I'm more functional.

Appreciate your input,

Carol J. Bova
Sunland, CA  can't remember if it's zone 18 or 19, but the warmer of
the two.