Re: [gardeners] Memory Garden

Bargyla Rateaver (
Sun, 23 Sep 2001 20:40:59 +0100

The real and only real comfort is that you can see the lost one AGAIN, in
the resurrection. The hard part is living until then. I can pray for you
that it is made easier as time pases, less time left for you to wait until
seeing the lost one again.

C Gribben wrote:

> Carol, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I think a memory garden could be a
> very comforting way to work your way through the grief.  It would give
> you a focus now, and a place for quiet contemplation later.
> I don't have any specific ideas for plants, but I would suggest that
> your seating area be somewhat enclosed by climbing vines over lattice,
> or something to that effect.  It would feel sort of womb-like and to
> me, at least, give you the idea of the plants reaching out and hugging
> you.  If your location is at all public, it would also give you some
> privacy.
> Charleen
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Carol J. Bova" <>
> To: <>
> Sent: Saturday, September 22, 2001 12:35 PM
> Subject: [gardeners] Memory Garden
> Hello folks,
> Haven't been here in awhile because my 54 year old husband of 24
> years,
> Murray Schiff, was diagnosed with lung cancer that had spread to the
> brain
> on Aug. 15. He passed away at home peacefully on Sept. 19, 6 weeks to
> the
> day from when he first collapsed. (There were no symptoms at all prior
> to
> that.)
> I am still in the numbing shock stage of things, but I know I'm going
> to be
> coming close to the edge of falling apart as that wears off. One thing
> I'm
> doing, is asking close friends not to send flowers, but to choose a
> potted
> plant instead for the garden. I have shade, sun and partly both in
> different areas, so I'll be able to use any kinds of plants. I have a
> large
> area with heavy live oak leaf cover. Are there plants that don't like
> that?
> It's a western exposure, and shady til past midday from the house and
> trees, then fully sunny.
> Do any of you have any ideas on making a memory garden? I'm thinking
> maybe
> of doing something with a quiet area for sitting, but obviously,
> haven't
> thought it out at all yet. If you do have suggestions, I could hold
> them
> til I'm more functional.
> Appreciate your input,
>          Carol
> Carol J. Bova
> Sunland, CA  can't remember if it's zone 18 or 19, but the warmer of
> the two.


Bargyla Rateaver