Re: [gardeners] Cousin John Beau Walter and the law

Cousin DeDe/Dede (
Wed, 8 Jul 1998 17:10:27 +0000


Now if times and circumstances were normal, I'd tell you to march yourself
right back to where you was staying and close the door behind you, 'cause I
know your mama taught you that it ain't polite to leave a place without so
much as a by-your-leave and a dollar on the bureau to thank 'em for tidying
up after you.

But considering what you been though, I won't be fussing at you. Still, you
be sure to send the City Fathers a nice thank you note for their
hospitality and vittles. Remember, you is a lady, and a lady would sooner
walk down the street trailing toilet paper than be accused of not taking
the time to say thank you.

Now, I got to fuss at you some. I don't like doing, but somebody's got to
and since I be the oldest in the family (less, of course, somebody shows up
claiming to be older and can prove it), it's my duty.

Belle, you can't go to the Texas Hair Ball until you get that paint off
you. I don't care what you say about them girls holding you down and
slapping that eagle on you. Belle, it just ain't fittin. Maybe a
longhorn..maybe even a horney toad..even an owl or a mustang. But an Eagle
just ain't gonna get you no respect in these parts. You is in Texas, gal!
Don't forget it!

Now, you get yourself to working on how you gonna get rid of that paint.
Lord, next thing you is gonna be telling me is that you done got yourself a
Harley and a leather jacket and are heading down the highway, headed for
Biloxi, sin, perdition, and a big plate of softshell blue crabs. Belle,
stay away from them crabs; they be catching!

Cousin DeDe/Dede, remembering the time Cousin Laura Lee got herself some
crabs while she was studying art and oil portrait painting at that fancy
girls' school back east and thinking that Cousin John Beau Walter bears 
watching with a right close eye.